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Bruh, why am I so bad at Rocket League?

Rocket League has been around for as long as I can remember, and as long as I can remember, I have just been so bad at the game. Like, not just noob bad, but bad to the point that no matter how much I’ve played over the years, I just cannot seem to get any better. I know my literal job is to be informed about video games, but today, I am coming to you, my faithful readers, to complain about how terrible I am at this soccer/racecar hybrid of a game.

Rocket League

I think it starts with how close the game resembles soccer. I hate soccer. Yes, I know, very unpopular opinion. I was not great at soccer when I was a kid; all I really remember from playing is getting kicked in the shins over and over again. Also, who can enjoy a game where it can literally end 0-0? The last soccer game I went to, the score ended like that, and my tolerance for the game ended with it. I sat and watched people kick a ball around for 2 hours and no one even scored.

I am getting a little off track, but the point is still valid. I think the first reason I am so bad at the game is that I do not understand what it takes to use strategy and tactics in soccer and that transvers over to Rocket League. I have no idea when to pass, and especially no idea when I should try to score.

Besides not knowing how to be strategic in the game, I have never been able to get the hang of using those booster pickups scattered around the field. No matter how hard I try, I am never able to save those boosters for when I really need them. I always just use them as soon as I get ‘em. I cannot help it; it’s a sickness, really.

The angles in the game also give me a hard time. I see my friends using walls to do awesome tricks and position themselves in the best way possible in order to either score or defend. When I try to use the walls, I end up either crashing or somehow getting myself further from where I was trying to end up.

I have scored only once in the game. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was chilling in my friend’s apartment running a few games when it happened. I somehow got myself centered downfield by the goal and my boy blasted the ball down toward me. I tried to position myself using the walls to be able to use the tip of my car to bounce the ball in, but as usual, I failed and ended up just flipping my car over. But I guess the gaming gods were on my side, as somehow, the ball hit my car as I fell to the ground and bounced right into the goal. I am honesty surprised that clip did not end up on a Rocket League win compilation.

I truly do not think I will ever get that lucky again and I am perfectly ok with that being my only goal. But, honestly, how can I get better? If you have any tips for me— especially ones that I can’t already find on this website— please let me know. Let’s get me that second goal.

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