August 19, 2020 was a historic day. The world watched as a man who would not quit no matter how many times he was knocked down by fruit got back up. As he reached the final round of his journey, people stood in awe as the “Round Over” sign appeared on our hero’s screen. They continued to glue their attention as a shiny golden crown was placed on the head of a champion. Timthetatman had finally won his first round of Fall Guys.
The news took over the esports twittersphere like wildfire. 400 thousand people had been present for this historic event, and they wanted everyone to know. As Ninja said, “We will look back and remember this being one good thing that happened in 2020.” The hype was so huge even ESPN was tracking it.
While every journey has its end, it’s important to look at how long the road was traveled. Success doesn’t happen overnight, it takes long hard hours and constant trolling from the game developers themselves. Let’s take a look back at five failures from Timthetatman’s journey that brought him to this unforgettable day.
The time he yelled at a penguin and used Psyduck as an insult
Twitch user senya was kind enough to clip this wonderful piece of cinema titled, “tim losing childrens game and abusing stuffed animals.” During one of his many Fall Guy episodes, Tim was tasked with competing in the game Rollout, a minigame where the objective is to stay on a rotating platform, littered with holes and walls attempting to push you off. Timthetatman was performing on par, when another player grabbed him and pushed him into a hole. Enraged, Tim grabbed his nearby penguin stuffed animal, screamed at it, and then called the aforementioned player a, “Psyduck lookin-ass.”
When there was a clear military coup to prevent Timthetatman from winning
This was during a qualifying round where the Top 40 would advance. As the numbers climbed, Tim looked like he would reach the finish line before being eliminated, though in a very low place. With only five players left to qualify, Tim made it to the final section of the race, and then was grabbed by not one, not two, but three separate players, in what was clearly a targeted attack to prevent our hero from advancing. You can even hear Timthetatman realize it himself, “I’m being f***ing targeted dude!”
Even the ground just wanted to watch him die
The Fall Guys game titled “Hex-a-gone” features multiple planes of hexagons on a large vertical map. As you step on a hexagon, it disappears, forcing you to move to the next one. Once you run out of room, you fall downwards onto the next level until you reach the bottom and fall to your untimely death, or really just get eliminated from the game. This is usually one of the final levels in an episode, with the winner taking the crown. Tim was one of the last 2 players, and was on one of the highest levels, giving him an obvious edge over his opponent, who was at the bottom. Then, as our fearless champion jumped to another hexagon, it disappeared, and he fell FOUR LEVELS and lost the game and his chance at winning his first title.
That time when the finish line just taunted him like a seductress
Okay picture this. You’re near the front of the crowd at the end of a race. 31 of you can cross it. The finish line is literally two feet from you. You look like you’re about to be one of the first 10… and then everyone and their mother grabs you and piles on top of you, preventing you from achieving sweet sweet victory. That’s what happened to Timthetatman, shocking him so much he was left speechless, which immediately turned into determined frustration as he declared, “I’m not going out like that!”
And finally, that time where he was sponsored by a vacuum cleaner company
Y’all ever play Tail Tag? It’s fun. Y’all ever play team Tail Tag? It’s fun if your team doesn’t stink. The goal of the game is to have a tail on you by the end of the round, or if you’re on a team, to have the most tails among you by the end of the round. If you don’t have a tail then you can steal it from other players. Well, timthetatman had a tail, and he still lost, because his team let him down. There’s nothing worse than being the only member of a group project to do the work and get a failing grade because the rest of your group couldn’t be bothered, and that’s exactly what happened here. However, it did result in Tim saying the best burn in all of gaming history, “Are you sponsored by f***ing Hoover? Because you suck!”
The end of the journey.
While it was fun to revisit some highlights of Timthetatman’s grueling trek to victory, in the end he bested the game, and achieved his first crown, in fact by the very same game that had cost him his first almost win, “Hex-a-gone.”
Now that he has achieved his life goal, we at Stropse wish him nothing but the best, and I personally would like to thank him for the vacuum insult, because I will be using that every single day of my life.