Listen, I am going to be a pretty strict dad when it comes to my future kids’ dating. If I do end up having a son or daughter, I need to prepare them for the Mario characters they should be dating. If I monitor some Mario crushes, they’ll have a much better sense of the types of guys they can date when they get older. For this list, I’m sticking to just the dudes: I’ll have to make a female list later on.
At number 5, we got my man Luigi. This dude has always just been solid. He does not say much and has never really gotten himself into too much trouble over the years. As a future dad, this is what I am looking for in a potential match for my kid. Not to mention, he is pretty dang handsome. I mean, look at that face.
At number 4, we have the legend Toad. This guy is just so dang cute! I just want to pick him up and put him in my pocket. Isn’t that all any dad is looking for out of a potential match with his child? The only problem is, I have no idea how old this little dude is. Is he even old enough to date? If he is, he can totally take my son or daughter out on a date. Just no funny business, young man!
At number 3, we have Yoshi. I would be cool with any of the colors of Yoshi dating my child. Yoshi and I just really have this amazing chemistry in Mario Kart. I know if we can work together well, he will get along with my son or daughter just fine.
At number two, we have someone who you readers might be surprised by. I would be totally cool with Boo the ghost taking my child out on the town. The reason? He can protect them. I mean, what more can a dad want than his kid being safe. I know he’s technically a villain in the series, but I’m all about giving people (and ghosts) second chances.
At number one, who else could it be but Mario himself. He is the boss, the main man. I know he could take care of my kid. He is always rescuing Princess Peach even though she gets kidnapped like every week. I would trust him 100%.
I know this might be a little weird of a list, but I’m always looking ahead towards the future. Do any of you relate to this list at all, or am I just insane? Please feel free to roast me in the comments.