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Top 5 worst Mario Kart Maps

Now that I did my top 5 favorite maps, you know it’s only right to write up my top 5 least favorite maps. I am pretty passionate about this game, so please excuse me if I get a little heated from how much these maps pissed me off.

Mario Kart
This photo, and all photos in this article, courtesy of Nintendo

For number five, I have to go with Dry Dry Desert, which has really made me mad over the years. This map has a ton of stupid little enemies who get in your way, causing you to slow down. Speed is the most important thing in this game, so having so many ways to slow down makes this map annoying as hell. There are little tornados which will take you for a spin before setting you back down if they catch you. There are also large cactus monsters called Pokeys that get in your way if you’re not careful. Finally, there is quicksand which will suck you all the way into the middle of the map, where you will be eaten by a giant piranha plant. It sucks (literally.)

At number four is Sherbert Land. The main problem with this map is the lack of clear directions. The game even added some more signs than usual so players would be less confused, but it’s still a struggle. On top of this, there are Shy Guys all around the map which will get in your way and slow you down. Finally, there are ice blocks added to the map later on that will freeze you if you run into them. This map just has too much going on.

At number three is Yoshi Falls. This map is not necessarily bad, it’s just so boring. There is not much to it other than some waterfalls you can fall off of if you are not careful. It just seems like not much time was put into this map and that it was only added because the game needed more content.

At number two is Mario Circuit. The problem with this map is that it has way too many enemies you can run into and not enough added to the map itself. It seems they focused all their attention on putting Chain Chomps, Piranha Plants and Goombas in the way of players and not enough attention on making the map fun to play. That, in my opinion, is a pretty fatal mistake.

My boys and maybe even some of my fellow writers already know what my least favorite map of all time is. Moo Moo Meadows is a disgrace to the gaming world. The stupid cows which somehow always get in your way have made me more mad than pretty much any other video game. The cows will force you to come to almost a complete stop and it is so hard to get speed again. I must crash into a cow at least three times a game and it always makes my blood boil to the point where I want to eat a nice juicy burger just to get back at the cows. I mean, just look at the face of the cows on the map. They look downright evil.

These were my top 5 least favorite Mario Kart maps, with special emphasis on Moo Moo Meadows. I’m going to hear those moos in my nightmare for a long time to come. If there were any Mario Kart maps which made your blood boil, leave ‘em in the comments.

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